2019. This year's end is approaching, very fast. When I started this year I would never of imagined I would end up here where I am. Sitting in a minimally furnished studio apartment on the Upper Westside of Manhattan with the dimming sounds of sirens and horns in the background. I am truly a different woman now than I was at the new year. For better or for worse. When I moved I thought I would be inspired constantly to write and create. Truthfully, I've felt like an unstable garment beginning to unravel at the slightest pull. Despite my inside fragility, I try to present a together, collected front and try to make sense of all the nonsense. So for what's it's worth, here's a list of 19 things I've learned this year.
1.) Challenge yourself to do things that scare you once in a while.
2.) No matter what anyone thinks, do what is best for you. Others will try to make you consider "other people" when making major decisions. That's all great and I generally try always be considerate but at the end of the day no one, and I mean no one, will have to clean your messes but yourself. Do what's best for you. You don't owe anyone anything.
3.) Call your mom. Three times a day if needed. She is your best friend, whether you realize it or not. ( Or mother figure)
4.) Sometimes when a suitor seeks you out after doing you wrong, they are only trying to see if they can disrespect you again.
5.) A follow up to #4. It's not a compliment when someone tries to cross the boundaries you made clear to them. Don't confuse this for "effort" or "affection".
6.) Learn to say no. ( I'm saying this louder for the people in the back) For the love of God, learn to say No.
7.) Generally people mean well. People will disappoint you. People you love, trust, and confide in will disappoint you. This doesn't mean they don't love you, it means they likely have their own life happening and they don't always see past themselves, ( as we all do at times). Try not to take this personally.
8.) Ask for help. I would not of survived this year if I didn't ask for help. I truly wouldn't, and I'm grateful I did. It strengthen friendships and made me stronger and view different perspectives I hadn't considered before.
9.) Ask for what you want. You will not get what you need unless you ask. Whether that's more money or a day off, no one can read your mind. Ask.
10.) Express your love. Often someone comes to my mind and I feel compelled to reach out and tell them. I do it as often as possible. Whether they reciprocate or not I expressed my love and that's never wrong. You never know when someone can be taken from you, and you don't want to regret not making more of an effort.
11.) Stop feeling bad for everything. Stop feeling like you're taking up space. You're not. In fact, take up that space. Fill it up!
12.) You don't owe anyone an explanation. If you're anything like me, you've thought things over a million times. Trust me, you thought this through.
13.) Always apply hand sanitizer before and after riding the subway. Just take my word on this one.
14.) If it saves you time, stress, or effort then spend the little extra money. You'll thank yourself later.
15.) Your weekend plans don't have to impress anyone. If you want to stay home and watch reality TV all weekend, then by all means pop the popcorn and pass the wine!
16.) Always have a cushion. This could be a savings account, a friend, or a literal cushion. Sometimes you need to know you have something to fall back on. Literally and figuratively.
17.) Just tell the truth. Be honest with people. Generally it's received well.
18.) Take every opportunity to learn something new. If there are free courses offered at work, take them. A free work out in your apartment complex, try it.
19.) Above all, family is first. Hug those you love, and hug them tight.
Take my lessons for what they're worth. Anyone want to share something they've learned this year?
